Raistlin and the Miss Krynn 2002 Pageant
by delirium-86
Summary: Raistlin and some others are in charge of judging the Miss Krynn 2002 Pageant. Will he choose his "love" Crysania? Or will he choose Bupu the gully dwarf out of pity and er...compassion? Did he really kill Kit or did she just vanish into unknown dimension
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I, obviously do not own Dragonlance cuz if I did, I obviously wouldn't post my works here, I'd just have them published. So, that said, I don't want any lawyers coming up to me to lead me to court okay?  
  
  
  
Raistlin Majere and the Miss Krynn 2002 Contest  
  
Izzy: Good Day, Ladies, Gentlemen, Elves, Dwarves, Ogres, Gnomes, Kender and all other races on Krynn! Today as you all know is the final day of judgement for our remaining five contestants for the Miss Krynn 2002 Contest. And now, may I call upon each of our five contestants to come up on stage as I call their names.  
  
applause and cheers erupt from the crowd  
  
Izzy: Contestant number one is known as the first true Cleric since after the days of the Cataclysm. She is none other than Goldmoon!!!  
  
Cat-calls from the minotaurs and ogres as a beautiful stern-faced woman clad in a leather bikini and an enormous fur cloak makes her way to the stage. She, ignores them of course, but her husband, Riverwind, who's seated in front, shows signs of irritation.  
  
Izzy: Contest number two is a beautiful elf-maiden also kn0wn as the Golden General. Of course, I'm talking about Laurana Kanan!!!  
  
Crowd bursts into loud admiring applause, the loudest coming from the elves. Laurana decides to sprint to the stage in an attempt to secure a seat just in case someone might steal her spot.  
  
Izzy: Contestant number three is none other than that fiery tempered barmaid, Tika Waylan Majere!!!  
  
A woman with fiery red curls and a scowl on her face walks on stage muttering curses at the announcer  
  
[izzy: ouch!]  
  
Izzy: Contestant number four is the Revered Daughter of Paladine, Lady Crysania of Taurinius!!!  
  
A row of Black Mages snort derisively as a Cleric dressed in flowing white robes with a medallion of paladine hung on her neck. Hearing this, the Clerics lip tightens to a straight thin line and her gray eyes go cold as steel  
  
[izzy: shudder..brrrr..]  
  
Izzy: Contestant number five is.*snort, snort..uhm..she's a..well, she's a gully dwarf called Bupu!!!  
  
The crowd stares in disgust as a smelly and dirty gully dwarf stumbles up to the stage carrying a very dead rat by it's tail.  
  
[izzy: eyuck! *holds her nose to try and block out the putrefying stench of the dwarf]  
  
Izzy: Okay, now that we've been reacquainted with the contestants, I would now like to introduce our final set of judges. They are as follows, Dalamar the Dark, Tasslehoff Burrfoot, Kitiara Uth matar and last but not the least *shudder, Raistline Majere!!! *shudder..  
  
Crowd cannot help but shudder upon hearing the name of the Master of the Past and Present.  
  
Izzy: Before we start the interrogation, we would first like to ask the judges a couple of questions. This is in order that we may see if you are indeed qualified to judge, if you not, you will be relieved of your duties and sent backstage.  
  
A really handsome blond haired, blue eyed human named Stephen comes up to Izzy to hand her an envelope.  
  
Izzy: Thank you. *blushes furiously. The first question for the judges is: What do you think is the most important factor that should be taken into consideration when judging for the Miss Krynn 2002 Pageant?  
  
Dalamar: I think that a woman should be wise and ambitious in order to get the title of Miss Krynn. I think that's what should be-  
  
Tasslehoff: Well I think it's being a cheerful person that will get you the-  
  
Dalamar: I was not done yet you little cutpurse! Tasslehoff: C-c-cut-p-purse??? Argh! How dare you insult me. You, you, Dark Elf!  
  
Dalamar: Hmph!  
  
Izzy: Okay! Thank you Tas and Dalamar. Let's now move on to Kitiara and *shudder Raistlin. *shudder.brrr...  
  
Kit: Personally, I don't give a damn about these women because if I was the only judge, nobody would win. It's so easy to see they don't have an ounce of the most important factor called ruthlessness. Why, if I had only joined, I would have-  
  
Izzy: Well, I guess that disqualifies you from being a judge then, huh Kit?  
  
Crowd watches in anticipation of a fight. Unfortunately, nothing happens cuz right before anyone can do anything, Raistlin rolls his eyes and casually waves his hand in Kit's direction and she vanishes!  
  
Izzy: Well,,, hehehe *nervous laughter. So much for Kitiara, huh? Well, it's your turn, now uhm, Raist-  
  
Raistlin: Silence! As you have very well noticed, my pupils are in the shape of an hourglass. Thus, I see everything as it decays. Yes, even you Izzy are withering right before my eyes at this very moment. [izzy:ulp!] Since I cannot judge by looks, I will be judging by the way they react and behave to certain things. If they pass *tinge of sarcasm, well, I guess I'd have to award them the title won't I?  
  
Izzy: V-very interesting answer, Raistlin. And now, I guess it's finally time to start the show! Each judge will be given a chance to ask one question for each of the contestants. That will allow each contestant a different question from each of the three judges. Once this is done, we will have a short intermission as we find our three finalists. 


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you's:  
  
JISHOSHOJO: I hope it'll be funny. I'm not that good at translating ideas to writing. And, this is my first fanfic.  
  
CHICKENS: Wow! I'm not exactly sure how it'll end but I'm sure Raistlin will be doing more scene stealing later on. (  
  
RAISTLINOFMETALLICA: Eep? That's all you could say? ( Geez, if it was bad I'd rather hear it than some lousy eep. sheesh. hmph..eep. Just kidding dude, I appreciate the comment even if it was just a three letter 'word' which doesn't really mean anything but it's a word nonetheless. So, Thank you.  
  
-----------------------chapter 2 ------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------- The story continues.  
  
Izzy: So! Who would like to go first?  
  
Tas: I will! I will!  
  
Izzy: Alright, Tas will be the first to ask the questions and he will be followed by Rai-  
  
Raistlin: *narrows his eyes and his lips start to curl.  
  
Izzy: I mean, Dalamar and then last will be Raistlin.  
  
Tas: My first question is for Goldmoon.  
  
Izzy:...  
  
Tas:....  
  
Izzy: Uhm.Tas? You can begin with your question now.  
  
Tas: Oh! Okay then! Goldmoon, why does the blue crystal staff have a blue crystal? I mean, why wasn't it a red or a colorless crystal like the one that Raistlin has?  
  
(Raistlin gives the innocent kender a look of pure irritation)  
  
Goldmoon: I guess it would be blue because it's a staff given by the Goddess Mishakal who is known for the color blue? *tinge of sarcasm.  
  
[izzy: my, my, my. Someone's starting to sound like Raistlin.]  
  
Izzy: Good answer Goldmoon. Next up is Dalamar!  
  
Dalamar: Very well then. Goldmoon, I have always wondered, what exactly do Que-Shu tribeswomen wear underneath those heavy fur cloaks of yours?  
  
[izzy: ???!]  
  
(The crowd goes wild!!!)  
  
Goldmoon: *trying very hard to keep control of her temper. That is none of your business, Dark Elf!  
  
Dalamar: Hmph! I guess we know who won't be winning this contest!  
  
Raistlin: Get on with it apprentice! I don't have all day to waste in this idiotic contest!  
  
Dalamar: F-f-forgive me, Shalafi.  
  
Izzy: Okay.Raistlin, you can go ahead now.  
  
Raistlin: *hack.cough..cough..wheez! inhales deeply.. Tell me Goldmoon, how did it feel to see Riverwind's mangled body after he was attacked by Khisanth? Did it make you feel responsible? Did you see him decaying? *snort..silent laughter..  
  
(Crowd turn their gaze back and forth from Raistlin to Goldmoon to Riverwind)  
  
[izzy: this outta be good..chuckle..chuckle.]  
  
Goldmoon: I.uh. I felt scared at first but then thank Mishakal I was able to heal him.  
  
Raistlin: *oh brother!.snort.. rolls his eyes.  
  
Izzy: Thank you Goldmoon and the judges. Now, let's move on to Laurana! Go ahead Dalamar.  
  
Dalamar: Why thank you , Izzy. Don't mind if I do. I was wondering, Laurana if you've ever heard of my skills as a Black mage?  
  
Raistlin: *yeah right.narrows his eyes and gives Dalamar a piercing stare.  
  
Laurana: Yes, I've heard of you Dark Elf! *turns away in disgust  
  
Dalamar: Good. Have you heard of my other skills? No? Well, I have lots of tricks, most of them in the bedroom-  
  
Izzy: Okay, let's not get carried away. Raistlin, you may ask your question now.  
  
Laurana: What is he talking about???  
  
Raistlin: Never mind him! It's my turn now. I wonder young Elfmaiden, have you ever realized the fact that you're already more than hundreds of years old and still you have annoying child-like habits!!! Have you ever noticed how irritating that is?!!  
  
Laurana: Uh.no!!! I didn't know.. *whining voice!  
  
Izzy: Well, Tas it's your turn now.  
  
Tas: Hey Laurana, how is it like being with Tanis huh? I mean, he's such a great guy and I haven't seen him in a while and-  
  
Laurana: He's okay. We'll probably get married sometime soon. (  
  
Raistlin: *rolls his eyes and instantly remembers a spell that will wipe out the whole elven and kender race  
  
Izzy: Aww,,, isn't that great? Thank you Laurana and now let's move on to *snort.snort..hehehehe. Bupu!  
  
Raistlin: Little one!  
  
Bupu: Pretty man! You back here again!  
  
Raistlin: Yes, little one. I see you are well. I have a question to ask you.  
  
Bupu: That fine! You ask, me answer.  
  
Raistlin: Okay, hack! hack! cough.cough.wheez..  
  
Bupu: Me help! Cure cough. *gives Raistlin a dead lizard which instantly stops his hacking cough.  
  
Raistlin: Thank you little one. Now, answer this question: How did you learn such magic?  
  
Bupu: Me learn from Highbulp! Not Phudge Highbulp but Highbulp before Phudge.  
  
Raistlin: *rare smile. That's good enough for me, Little one.  
  
Izzy: Wow.uhm..Tas, you're next.  
  
Tas: Bupu! How come you're always hanging around with Raistlin? I mean, he's so mean and nasty and-  
  
Raistlin: *look of pure venom  
  
Tas: Okay.I'll behave Raistlin. Please don't hurt me.  
  
Bupu: Pretty man make pretty magic. He always call Bupu little one. He not bad to Bupu.  
  
Izzy: *so he's human after all. And finally you're up Dalamar.  
  
Dalamar: Hmph! You stink you gully dwarf. Have you ever considered bathing?  
  
Raistlin: Apprentice! How is your chest? Still hurts? *evil smile.  
  
Dalamar: No Shalafi! Please! I did not mean it.  
  
Raistlin: *sneer. Hmph!  
  
Izzy: Thank you Bupu and uh.judges. Last but not the least is Lady Crysania! You're up Dalamar.  
  
Dalamar: Crysania, how do you manage to dress yourself everyday? I mean, surely it must be hard considering the fact that you're blind. Perhaps you are assisted by handsome young clerics?  
  
[izzy: boy, sounds like someone hasn't gotten it good for so long]  
  
Crysania: I pray Paladine will forgive you for your insolence!  
  
Izzy: Tas, you can go ahead.  
  
Tas: How does it feel to know that Raistlin deserted you and used you? Are you mad at him?  
  
Raistlin: Kender!!!  
  
Tas: No Raistlin! I'm sorry.. It was an honest question..  
  
Crysania: It's alright Raistlin! *raistlin freezes up. I don't mind. Tas, I am not mad at Raistlin. He did what he had to do to show me a lesson and I am grateful for it.  
  
[izzy: is she blind or just plain stupid?]  
  
Izzy: Raistlin?  
  
Raistlin: Revered Daughter.  
  
Crysania: Raistlin.  
  
Raistlin: Revered Daughter. I hope I find you well?  
  
Crysania: Better than ever Raistlin. Was that your question?  
  
Raistlin: I have no question. I merely wanted to tell you something about my time in the Abyss.  
  
Izzy: Uh.I don't think-  
  
Raistlin: *snarl!  
  
Izzy: Yes, Yes. Go on Raistlin. Take your time.  
  
Raistlin. I was saying that when I was alone in the Abyss, I would dream about you. You were always in my mind, Crysania.  
  
Crysania: *sniff.walks up to Raistlin and holds his hand.  
  
Raistlin: *what am I doing? This is weakness!!!. Release me, Revered Daughter *tinge of sarcasm.  
  
Crysania: *surprised.  
  
Izzy: Okay! That ends our question and answer portion. Well be back after a short intermission number by the Inn of the Last Home Singers!!!  
  
Word from the Author: If you're gonna review this, I would like to remind you to critique my writing and suggest possible ways on how to improve it. I am not after how well I was able to get the character's.well.. Character . I am after the writing style but if you want to critique about how good the story is well, by all means, go ahead. If you don't like the story, well. PLEASE, BE GENTLE.(  
  
Ciao for now,  
  
Ice Princess 


	3. Chapter 3the end

Author's Note: Just in case anyone was wondering.. When I put an * before a sentence, that means it's either an action or a thought. And when you see something like this [izzy;] that means that whatever is written in there might be and action or a thought as well.  
  
RAISTLINOFMETALLICA: I never thought about that.hmmm...........well, I can't think of a sponsor yet but that's okay, it doesn't matter. (  
  
Chickens: Thank you *bow.applause..applause* This is the last chapter though. I wanted to end this thing as soon as possible cuz I wanna work on something else it's called Survivor Dragolance (check it out).  
  
Jishoshojo: Yeah I know, I hate having to write someone out of character but it was a little bit essential to making the story a bit more tolerable.  
  
I dunno of you guys/girls will like the ending but I just wanted it over right away. I did take more time to write properly in the next fanfic called Survivor Dragonlance.  
  
Chowski,  
  
Ice Princess ---------Chapter 3---------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------  
  
Inn of the Last Home Singers: (Lead Vocalists: Caramon Majere, Otik Sandath, and Dezra) (Choir: Everyone who frequents the Inn of the Last Home)  
  
Caramon: And a one and a two and a one, two, three!!!  
  
Mish Krynn, Mish Krynn  
  
All the mehehehehen love yoooooouuuuu... hick!  
  
Tika: *uh oh.. I someone's had one too many dwarf spirits.  
  
Otik: And the ladies adohohohore yoooooouuuu  
  
Dum de dum de de dum de dum de de dum de dum (tune of "Be Our Guest")  
  
Dezra: Miss Krynn, Miss Krynn.  
  
I wanna be like you!! Oh!!! I wanna be like you..  
  
Caramon: Mish Krynn, Mish Krynn. hick! *kerplunk!  
  
Izzy: * I knew he'd faint!!! Grrr.. Um, well, I guess that's our signal to continue! While we were being er.. 'serenaded' by the Inn of the Last Home singers, the judges were busy finalizing their scores for each of the contestants. This is what will happen, as I call on each of the contestants, each judge will let us know their respective scores. The lowest possible score is a one and the highest possible score is a perfect ten. Let's begin shall we?  
  
(Someone from the crowd stands up)  
  
Man: Hey! How come you never went on to asking Tika some questions? Are you discriminating us poor townsfolk???  
  
Izzy: Oh! I'm sorry about that but I forgot to mention that Miss Tika Majere will not, I repeat not be a contestant in our pageant anymore. She has been disqualified owing to the fact that she is pregnant. Yes, congratulations Caramon!  
  
(Crowd cheers)  
  
Izzy: Alright then. Let me call on my handsome attendant, Stephen to usher in the ladies.  
  
(Izzy starts blushing as the really hot usher walks past her while flashing that gorgeous smile)  
  
[izzy:] *oh.please say you'll go to the prom with me after this.please..please.please!  
  
Izzy: Alright. Contestant number one, Goldmoon. Please come on stage!  
  
(Goldmoon makes her way on stage)  
  
Tas: I give Goldmoon a score of 9 for really helping out with my question!!!  
  
Dalamar: She deserves no more than a 5  
  
(Crowd boos Dalamar)  
  
Dalamar: *rolls his eyes  
  
Raistlin: I give her a *throws some powdery stuff in the air that forms a number 7  
  
(Crowd stares in wonder and fear at Raistlin. This goes on for about a whole minute)  
  
Izzy: Wow..... oh! Yes, the show. Um.. the next contestant please, Laurana!!!  
  
Tas: I give her a 10 as a wedding present for her and Tanis!!!  
  
Raistlin: *narrows his eyes at Tas who doesn't notice  
  
Dalamar: I give her a 5 and if in case this displeases her, I'd be happy to reconsider after she watches and maybe assists me in doing my bedroom tricks.  
  
[izzy: no wonder this fanfic needs parental guidance.]  
  
Raistlin: *mutters to himself about irritatingly horny apprentices. After a while he does his whole powdery magic thing and gives Laurana a score of 4!  
  
[izzy: stingy..]  
  
Izzy: Let's call on contestant number three. Bupu..*snort, snort.hehehehe.  
  
Tas: I give Bupu a score of 5-  
  
Raistlin: *narrows eyes and purses his lips and looks at Tas  
  
Tas: I mean a 10! A 10!! I meant to give Bupu a 10.*sweatdrops.  
  
Dalamar: I give that disgusting thing a lowly score of-  
  
Raistlin: *puts hand to Dalamar's chest  
  
Dalamar: *screams in agony AAAAAAAARGH!! I mean, I give her a 10! *Gasp!!!  
  
Raistlin: I will give the little one a 10.  
  
[izzy: boy, talk about manipulation.. No magic this time???]  
  
Izzy: And finally we have contestant number four, Lady Crysania of Taurinius!!!  
  
Tas: I give Lady Crysania a score of 8.  
  
Dalamar: I give the cleric a score of 10.*winks at Crysania.  
  
Raistlin: I give her a 10- *no! I am not as other men!!! I mean, I would have given her a 10 but she is worth only 7.  
  
Crysania: *oh, Raistlin. I am not worthy of your kindness..  
  
Izzy: I have mentally tallied up the scores for each contestant and they are as follows: Goldmoon has 21, Laurana has 19, Bupu has a 30!! Wow! And Lady Crysania gets 27.  
  
(Crowd hoot and holler)  
  
Izzy: Well, the results are certainly surprising *nervous glance at Raistlin. But as always, there must be a winner so, let me call on the following to present the awards and some special prizes. To represent Paladine, I call on Par-Salian. To represent Gilean I call on Astinus and to represent Takhisis, I call on our judge, Raistlin Majere!!!  
  
Par-Salian: Thank you, Izzy. I now present this third place prize to Goldmoon. Congratulations.  
  
Goldmoon: Thank you. I am very honored by this.  
  
Astinus: I, present the second prize to Lady Crysania of the house of Taurinius.  
  
Crysania: Thank you. I shall thank both Paladine and Gilean for this.  
  
Raistlin: I.hack...hack..cough..cough..present this to Bupu. You are Miss Krynn 2002. Well done, little one.  
  
Bupu: Me very happy! Me take this back home. Me show Highbulp Phudge he not only winner. Pretty Man help Bupu. Bupu happy.  
  
Izzy: Thank you contestants, judges and Par-Salian and Astinus. This ends our event and please, join us next time for the Survivor Dragonlance Challenge! 


End file.
